I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
