its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize