You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm having to shit out rocks
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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