If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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