Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
