look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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