I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
