She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
