I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
