I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
