I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.