Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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