I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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