I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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