I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She bit a glass in half.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
