Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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