Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
