went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
