i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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