She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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