I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it's great music for shaving your balls
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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