I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
