he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have post one night stand depression
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