the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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