it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You were trust falling into bushes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
