I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
