I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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