I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
