I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
only you would photoshop your dick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
