It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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