his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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