don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
