4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
