Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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