I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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