You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
