You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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