at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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