Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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