Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+07): View more from

tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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(410): View more from Maryland

She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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(404): View more from Georgia

also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.

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