Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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