My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
