bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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