She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my nose is crying tears of wow.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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