she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
