You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
