My underwear smells like fireworks.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
