Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize