I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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