Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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