Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
