But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
