Do you still have your period?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
