I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
