okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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