At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
