I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
