good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
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I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize