Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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