the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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