there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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