I just made out with a guy for $7.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
