I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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