Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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