Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
