Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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