i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
