Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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