You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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