We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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